It’s been another fun season in the Bard Box Office! Here are some of the err… interesting things that were overheard.

Patron: “I have tried buying tickets online but can’t seem to book in dates. That’s nothing unusual as I have been known to order a hamster on line before when I really wanted a hamper!”

Patron: “I think the internet is broken.”
Box Office: “Which browser are you using?”
Patron: “Desktop.”

Box Office: “Thank you for holding…”
Patron: “Oh, it’s no problem! I was being entertained by the dulcet tones of your leader.”

Box Office: “Is that middle initial ‘B’ as in ‘Bob’?”
Patron: “Well, I usually say it’s ‘B’ as in ‘b*tch’, but you sound like a nice girl so we’ll say it’s for ‘Barbara’.”

Box Office: “What’s your last name, please?”
Patron: “Jackson, as in the singer but not quite so dead”

Patrons different variations of A Midsummer Night’s Dream:
“A Midsummer’s Night Dream”
“A Midsummer’s Night’s Dreams”
“A Midnight Summer’s Dream”
“A  Mid…Midnight…” *trails off*

Patrons different variations of Equivocation:
“The one with the nice-looking gentleman in it.”

How to terrify a Box Office Attendant: “I’m sorry, I can’t see the security code on the back of the card, it’s just covered in blood. It just gets everywhere, and it’s so hard to clean up!”

Box Office: “What’s the expiry date on your card?”
Patron: “Oh, it’s just after my expiry, it’s… *says some date a couple of years from now*” *incredibly awkward moment ensued*

Patron: “I have one eye, do I get a Mad-Eye Moody discount?”

Box Office: “Hi, are you picking up tickets?”
Patron: “*cheerfully* No, we’re going to Will Call!” (the same patron also said, “I’m so nervous about there being problems with tickets when I do will call”, after which her friend said “But it never happens here! Here it’s always perfect!’)

Patron: “Excuse me, is Will here? I’m supposed to pick up my tickets from him”

Box Office: “Hello, Bard on the Beach Box Office”
Patron: “*very angrily* Why did you answer? I was listening to Christopher Gaze describe the plays, put me back on hold!”