At Bard, we aim to entertain! But did you know that you also entertain us? Since April, our Box Office superstars have been taking note of some of the witty, obscure and hilarious things our patrons say when they email or call in. Here are 13 of our favourites so far. Enjoy!
Patron after purchasing two fireworks tickets: “Now all I need is good weather and a date!”
Box Office: “Do you have a preference for seating?”
Patron: “I don’t know, WWCGS?” (Where would Christopher Gaze sit?)
Patron orders online under the name The Rev.Doggy Dog. Asked if he wanted to change it to his real name or leave it as that, he replied: “I guess I’d better have it changed then. I had an opportunity and I took it! I have no regrets! :-D”
Patron: “Oh, can you get me as center and as close as possible? I’m going to be proposing to my girlfriend, so…”
Patron: “I’m taking my brother to the play. He’s more of a sports guy. I’m trying to educate him.”
Patron: I see you’ve set the plays in modern times. I’ve seen old bad Shakespeare, I’ve seen old good Shakespeare, I’m in the market for new good Shakespeare!
Patron: “I like being as close as I can to the stage, but NOT the front row… I learned my lesson one year when Christopher Gaze sat on my lap. It put me in the hot seat. I have a dislocating knee though, so if he had sat differently or moved around much it could have been very bad!”
Box Office: “The only available seats are in the back row. “
Patron: “Well, it’s fine. These are for my daughter: they’re young, their eyes are still good.”
Patron booking lots of tickets: “I’m just sitting here with Henry VIII on my lap and a cup of tea so I have lots of time. Henry the VIII is my cat, Anne Boleyn is in the corner. They love each other!”
Patron: “Oh I expected a machine and here I got a pretty girl”
Patron: “Sorry, I’m just eating a lovely melon.” …(Box Office proceeds to describe the Studio Stage) Patron: “Oh that’s the lovely crescent moon one isn’t it?”
Patron after listening to Christopher Gaze on hold: “So when’s the wedding? Christopher was just saying that all of the box office agents are currently engaged!”
Box Office: “Can I ask why you decided to purchased tickets with us?”
Patron: “Well I’m hanging out with my ex-girlfriend tomorrow so I want to impress her.”
Do you recognize any of the comments above? Share the link with friends who you think ‘might’ have said it.
And stay tuned for Part Two of ‘Overheard at Bard’ later in August; you never know – you might be in it!
[Image: Box Office Superstars Christine Pennington, Grace Cheung & Mitch Janzen]