Here is Part Two of some of the funniest, most peculiar and cutest things we’ve overheard in the Box Office this season. Enjoy!

Box Office:Twelfth Night isn’t playing tonigh–”
Patron: “Oh my goodness I need better eyes!”

Patron: “Well it’s so nice hearing Christopher’s voice that I don’t even mind getting your voicemail!”

Patron: “This is for my lady. Well one of them… you know what I mean.”

Patron (starts giggling when trying to state her name): “I’m sorry I have three new kittens here, and they’re making this really difficult!”

Patron: “Hi could I get tickets for…Queen Elizabeth… the second? No… the first?”
Box Office:Elizabeth Rex?”
Patron: “Yes!”

Patron looking for her credit card: “It’s coming, it’s coming! People are saying, ‘oh, the box office is so slow!’, but it’s just silly people like me holding them up.”

Patron adding tickets to order: “I need two additional youth tickets to Hamlet… and they probably shouldn’t be sitting with us.”

Patron: “Two tickets for Oedipus Rex… (long pause)… wait that’s not right.”

Patron (shouting): “I’m buying the tickets grandchildren! We’re going to Bored on the Beach!”

Patron (calling back three minutes later to add ticket to order): “Whoops, almost forgot my son!”

Box Office: “How did you hear about Bard on the Beach?”
Patron: “Well, my wife told me to book tickets.”

Box Office (taking credit card info): “…and the expiry date?”
Patron: “My expiry date or the card’s?”

Box Office: “And your name?”
Patron: “Bond.”

Patron is reading off the credit card number. Patron stops suddenly: “Oh my goodness! My card is upside down!”

Patron (after being offered tickets for Hamlet in section 2B): “Hmmm, 2B or not 2B: that is the question.”

Patron: “I OD’d on Bard last week, but now I’m back for more!”

Patron: “Well if my friend can’t come then you can just find a tall, dark and handsome man to sit beside me instead!”

Patron: “You know, Shakespeare didn’t get it right all the time. He pinched ideas and messed around with stories but considering he only had feather quills and no electricity I think he did pretty well… and I’m sure he would be happy to hear that.”

[Header image: Box Office Wizkids Mitch Janzen, Stacey Menzies and Scott Ashton Swan]